Here, At the End of the World
by SaturnianWildcat
Summary: ...there is only us. An alternate ending to Crybaby; here at the end of the world, there is only Akira and Ryo and their feelings, regrets and sorrows.
1. Aftermath

"Akira...why am I the only one who's speaking?"

A stab of fear, not a new emotion but one amplified by today's events, shot through his heart as Ryo glanced over at his companion. But no, he hadn't died in the time Ryo had set them both down here. He was staring at the horizon, his eyes focused on something beyond it. What it was, Ryo did not know. "Are you listening to me?" Ryo asked.

There was no answer, no indication Akira was even listening. "Fine, be that way, Akira!" he snapped, standing to his feet and taking off in no particular direction.

Immediately, Ryo felt regret, an emotion that he was feeling too much today. But he didn't turn back, not yet. Perhaps Akira needed time alone.

He didn't know how long he walked. The only landmarks were blackened mountains, plains of black and, if he was lucky, the ruins of a city. From above him, the stars sparkled and the halves of the moons shone, both unburdened by the apocalpyic planet below. If nuclear fallout did not ruin the land, the final battle between Satan and Devilman did it.

Every so often, Ryo found himself looking to the sky, waiting for the Heavenly Host to once more descend and end it all. But nothing came and Ryo was equal parts relieved and fearful. Relieved that him and Akira ( but mostly Akira ) was given a chance to keep living but fearful...for delayed punishment. Was his Father in Heaven waiting for him and Akira to grow closer then restart it all? What if Akira would never get better and Satan's newest punishment was a lonely existence with his distant and despondent companion? He chose to believe Akira would get better but...he couldn't know for sure.

By the time he made it back to Akira, Akira was sleeping. His hands were folded on his chest and his chest rose slowly up and down. Ryo quietly sat by him, pushing away the urge to wake him up, and instead settled his wings over him.

"Why?"

Ryo must have dozed off too for that single word roused him from sleep. That single word that somehow held so many more questions than one. Why did you do this to Earth? Why did you do this to me? Why are you still here? Why are we still here?

"I don't know."

Months earlier, his answers would have been so easy, so straightforward. I did this because humans were weak things, weak and deserved to die as is nature's way. I did this to you so I could have a way to do it...but that wasn't quite right was it? He did it because some part of him, no matter how conscious, wanted Akira to live. Even in the final battle, where he had promised Akira death, this wish came forth.

When all his allies were gone, sacrificed themselves to keep their leader battle-ready, Akira forged on, raining blow after blow to Satan. But the same could not be said for Satan, who stopped his battling, letting himself be wounded. Blood on his alabaster skin looked foreign...wrong but blood on Akira's was worse. Finally, when Akira tired, he took him down to earth and laid him down, despite his continued thrashing and screaming. And then, he stilled, his remaining fire gone.

"You...don't know?"

Ryo dared a glance at Akira whose face was twisted, his fangs biting his lip and tears gathering in his eyes. "No, I am sorry. I don't know anymore what I had to gain..." Ryo admitted.

A horrific wail sounded over the sea and if anyone else existed on the Earth, they would have paused to wonder what monster had caused such a sound. Ryo pulled Akira closer, babbling through apologies, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't cry, I'll make it better..."

Akira quieted soon and squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering in Ryo's grasp. He said, in a broken pained voice, "I lost everything...but..."

He didn't continue and Ryo didn't push him. Unlike Akira, while he didn't gain anything he really didn't lose anything that he regretted now. The only thing that he felt he would have regretted losing was in his arms. Akira whispered, "This isn't fair."

"I know."

"I tried my best..."

"I know."

"I tried doing my best but I still hurt them, the humans I thought I was a part of! And I still abandoned them for a battle," his voice cracked, "a battle I couldn't even had won!"

He broke down again in sobs, withdrawing into himself. Still, Ryo did not say anything but let him cry. Then, when his sobs turned to whimpers, he whispered back, "No, you were only human. Only human to lash out when everything was taken from you needlessly. Only human for you to lash out at me when I had engineered it all. You're only human but they didn't deserve you."

Akira was quiet. Had he said something wrong, Ryo wondered.

"You're kind of human too. A devil or an angel would have killed me with no remorse. I know you're Satan but I can't call you that, Ryo."

Ryo didn't answer but a single tear, fallen on Akira's shoulder, was answer enough.


	2. Forgiveness

Akira was conflicted. But moreso he was tired, more tired than he ever had been in his mortal lifetime. It's an important distinction as since he didn't require air or food or water, he must no longer be mortal. It was a sobering, depressing thought.

He never wished actively for death but a part of him wished for nothing more but to be back with his mother, his father, the Makimuras, Miki, Taro—back with everyone who died. But would he even go to heaven, he wondered. Perhaps, because his heart that didn't let Amon possess him. Or perhaps not, since he joined with a demon anyways. If both are the case, it's poetic he remains on Earth. Akira Fudo, who lived in the limbo of being neither human or devil would go neither to Heaven or Hell but would wander the dead Earth.

He sat up, stretching the sleep from his bones. His eyes drifted over to the subject of his conflicted feelings: Ryo Asuka. It was almost alien to see him sleep, wings curled about him like a cocoon. Could angels normally asleep or was it that Ryo was as tired as him?

He had decided against calling him Satan but a part of him wondered if it was denial. Perhaps, if he pretended this ethereal being beside him was Ryo and not Satan, he could shift the blame off the only person left. He knew better but it was nice to pretend. He had a lot of anger inside him that wanted at Satan, to wreck vengeance for each and every human his actions had killed.

He sighed. What was the point. It wouldn't bring anyone back. It wouldn't make Ryo feel any more worse than he did. He didn't know if he'd ever forgive him but he knew that it was past time for fighting. He was too tired to fight anyways.

Even so, he needed to walk. Or rather, to fly. He stood, letting himself shift into his Devilman form. At first, shifting was traumatizing and painful. He'd be hyper aware of how his bones and muscles ripped apart and came back together. How new body parts knitted themselves together without any thought to whether it should be possible. And how new feelings came out of hiding.

Now, it barely took a thought. It felt natural. Even the more demonic instincts had been mellowed by his human heart. He stretched his wings and flapped them. A few more flaps and he was airborne. He directed himself over the sea, relying the strength of his wings to keep him aloft, what with the lack of wind. Finally, at a high enough altitude, he glided lazily downwards to the next island of black rock. In the distance was a city, blackened but relatively intact. He didn't know what he would expect to find but still, he felt drawn to it. So he began to flap again, intent of getting there.

Once he set down among the wreckage, a sobering sadness settled in Akira's heart. If he thought about it enough, he could envision what the city might have looked like. A place where people lived and worked. Maybe it wasn't somewhere that any people knew, only a place that warranted a footnote but still. People lived here. He choked back a sob but continued inward.

Buildings were reduced to rubble, cars were abandoned blackened shells, what steel foundations remained reached to the sky like claws reaching to the sky. Like the Earth was begging to be put out of her misery. He paused by the remains of something reduced to ash, only a blackened outline of what it may have been. Something about the shape of it looked familiar...

When he recognized it, Akira stumbled back then launched into the air again. He spiraled upwards until he couldn't make out the details of the ruined city and definitely not of the ashes of someone, a human. Hovering in the air, where his sorrow was private, he found it in him to sob. Eventually, when he couldn't cry anymore and his sobs produced nothing, he flew back to Ryo.

"Hey, I was wondering where you went," Ryo said when Akira returned, sitting up with his hands in his lap.

Akira sat down with his back to him, his wings shielding him. "Akira..." Ryo began.

"I don't want to talk about it," Akira said, his voice not angry or sad...just quiet.

Ryo sighed, "I see."

They sat in silence for what could have been an eternity. The atmosphere had been shredded by the dying throes of earth so the sky didn't change color. Rather the sun disappeared and reappeared in the sky as the earth turned. Whether its appearance in the sky was the length of a day of Old Earth, Akira did not know. The moon halves were always present, hovering in the sky like twin specters. It was another stark sign that things wouldn't return to normal for a long, long time. He sniffled at the thought.

Before he knew it, Ryo had bolted over to him, peeking over his wings, "What's wrong?" he asked.

Akira looked away stubbornly and didn't say a word. The rejection hurt but Ryo would admit he had no place to comfort him. Akira was upset about the state of the Earth and the fact his friends and family were all dead. Ryo had done all these things. To comfort Akira now would be like the Snake offering comfort to Adam and Eve after their expulsion from the Garden of Eden. He sighed softly and set his hand on Akira's shoulder, rubbing soft circles to comfort him rather than use words.

Finally, Akira spoke up, "I want to go...somewhere."

"Where?" Ryo asked.

He knew where he wanted to go, somewhere where there was some form of life. The chances of there being such a place was slim to none. Still, if Akira decided he wanted to find such a place, he couldn't see himself staying behind. Where Akira went, he did and if Akira wanted to go on a wild goose chase, he'd gladly chase with him.

Akira stood, shaking his wings before folding them against his back, "Anywhere but here," he said, looking around with a grim expression.

He stretched his wings out again with a sharp snap and took to the air. Ryo followed, with much less effort. Seeing how he simply lifted into the air after him was yet another reminder of how different they were. In the air, it was more stark. Akira had to constantly pump his wings to keep aloft while Ryo floated by him, not even having to flap his wings. Seeing him hang against the red sky brought another violent feeling from their previous battle; the cocktail of adrenaline, fear, hope, pain and anger. Akira looked away, shaking his head as if it would dispel the feeling. He then took off into a random direction, not looking at Ryo lest it bring the feelings again.

Ryo noticed his refusal to look at him and tried to not feel hurt. But nonetheless, it did. "Are you still angry, Akira?" he asked.

"Angry?" Akira looked at him.

His mouth stiffened into a straight line. Akira finally said, "I dunno."

"You don't know?" Ryo echoed, gracefully keeping in pace with him.

"Listen, it's confusing. I get all these feelings when I look at you. It's just..." he closed his eyes, coming to a hovering stop, "I am still mad but I don't want to be. It wouldn't fix anything."

Ryo frowned. Yet again, he had no words to give. Akira looked at him, an odd coolness in his gaze. He asked, "Would you have done it again?"

"No!" Ryo recoiled.

He looked around them. Nothing but the expanse of the red ocean was around them. Ryo gestured to it, "Look what I've inherited. I thought maybe, when I won, I'd feel accomplished but..."

He bowed his head, "I just feel like I've made the greatest mistake one can do. Not even God has acted so this must be my punishment. To persist in this doomed world."

"It won't be like this forever, will it?" Akira looked fearful.

"No, it will eventually bounce back, even if God leaves it like this. But it will take a long, long time."

Akira sighed, "I guess that's better than nothing."

They began their flight again, this time in silence, a tentative relaxed silence.

The time they came upon land, it was mountainous. While there wasn't any greenery left, it was better than the flat black expanse they had been stranded on before. Akira dropped suddenly, banking for a valley in between two mountains. A river running from the coast pooled into a moderately large lake at the middle. By this lake, was a small home. Miraculously, it was still intact. Either the mountains or its own stone architecture shielded it from the apocalypse. Once he landed, Akira shifted back into a more human form and smiled. It was the first smile Ryo had seen on his face in a long time.

Akira led them in. Other than a few items knocked off the shelves, it looked almost the same as it had been. It also must have been uninhabited at the time, a thing Ryo was thankful for. He didn't want to see Akira's reaction upon coming across a corpse. Akira collapsed on the couch and sighed in content. Ryo sat by him, tucking his wings in. He let himself smile too, "Lucky find."

"Mhm," Akira rolled onto his back, "I think I could go back to sleep."

He yawned, "Not that there's much else to do anyways."

Akira hummed in thought then asked, "Do you need to sleep?"

"Not really but sometimes its nice. Especially when..." Ryo paused, "...I have a lot on my mind."

Akira propped himself up on his elbow, looking too mundane in the dim house, "Say, how much did humans get right about angels? Like, are there others?"

"I have siblings, yes. I haven't seen them in a while. I'm not particularly upset." Ryo felt tense, his paranoia opting him to glance out the window at the mention of his siblings.

"Are angels close to one another or?" Akira tilted his head.

"Not really. My siblings are devoted to my Father and thus, all they do is for him and in extension, humanity. That's why I believe things will return to normal, one way or another. Without humanity, my siblings have no purpose," Ryo explained.

Akira frowned, "What do you mean "one way or another","

Ryo would have rather kept Akira in the dark but he went on anyways. Akira deserved the truth. "Either nature will take its course and in the next hundred millennia, humanity will develop once more. Or the Earth will be remade."

"Both of those sound...not great."

"Either we wait for a very long time or God takes it in his hands and this all happens once more."

Akira sat up, "It happens once more?" he looked troubled.

Ryo sighed, "This has happened before and it will happen again. Granted, you've never..." he grimaced, "...lived to this point."

"You've killed me," it wasn't a question.

"Yes," Ryo breathed, "Before, I ceased to see you as Akira and only saw you as an obstacle to my plan. This time...I tried to do just that but when I went to do it, I couldn't.

An uneasy silence settled on them. Akira said quietly, "Well, I'm glad you couldn't...kill me," he paused then couldn't help but snort at the absurdity of the statement.

"Akira!" Ryo said, aghast at the fact he was _laughing_.

"What! That's not a normal thing to say but I just did!" Akira laughed.

Ryo crossed his arms but couldn't help but smile. Akira sobered up after a few minutes, "Anyways, so you remember these past...er, cycles?"

Ryo nodded. Akira didn't answer but instead narrowed his eyes as he stared at the floor. Then after a minute, he said, "Maybe I'll remember!"

"I don't understand," Ryo said.

"Easy! You lived and were remade and then remembered! So here I am, living!" Akira smiled, wagging his hands at himself.

Ryo's face fell, "That's not how it works. You're a good person. You don't deserve to be punished. And even then, I didn't remember the whole story until after everyone else was dead. Before that, when I remembered I was Satan, it was only that."

Akira frowned and bowed his head. Ryo felt a rush of shame envelop him. Perhaps, it was better he lived in ignorance. Akira huffed, "That's not fair. To punish you when you realize the error of your ways. You even said you wouldn't do it again if you remembered."

Ryo's instinctive response was to tell him life was simply not fair. But Akira looked so miserable. He found himself saying, "I know it's not fair. I'm afraid God isn't fair."

Akira sighed, laying back down, staring at the ceiling. He asked, so softly, Ryo could barely hear, "Is it too much to hope otherwise?"

Ryo couldn't think of characterizing his Father as anything by a cold person that punished him for one transgression. Did He think Ryo was worthy of forgiveness? Ryo had been through this song and dance so many times, he didn't feel that way. But for Akira's sake, he laid by him and softly replied, "No, it isn't."


End file.
